Things I was Thankful For Yesterday clean sheets, feather comforters, a nice view, good friends, good family, Benny, and cold TWIX Bars from the refrigerated vending machine at work.
posted by Steve at 11/29/2002 11:57:00 AM

Before you read further, cick here to play the soundtrack for this entry (requires Real Audio).

Linked from Amazon.de

Heidi McBeal Why does this entry have a soundtrack? Because sometimes life has a soundtrack, and it's not always the one you expect. Ever feel like you're living Molly Dodd's days and nights? Or do you feel like TV's neurotic lawyer Allie McBeal? Or, is it just me? Naw, it can't just be me. 'Cause My friend P. said he's been waking up with Barry White in his head. You know ... like when Ally's having guy trouble ... and that happens to her ... so she struts down the street to the soundtrack (only unlike most TV characters, other than Molly, she can hear it too). See. Except, P. is like a cool DJ and stuff, so you kinda expect that sort of thing to happen to him. But, it's happening to me now. So whatever's going on, my higher power is supplying a soundtrack -- only I can hear it too.

I think my day yesterday was intended to be viewed as a Swiss Mountain Comedy, 'cause when I woke I distinctly heard the German Sängerin Fräulein Menke's Hohe Berge. I didn't even realize I knew the song, much less the words - which include:

Natur ganz pur ganz nah am Himmel - und so brech' ich mir das Edelweiss dann kauf' ich mir ein Eis. Ohhhh hooo, wo ist Heidi? Die hier der Lieblingsgeiss       ein Küsschen gab?

Nature is all clean and pure this close to Heaven So I pick some Edelweiss and buy myself an ice cream cone. Ohhhh hooo, where is Heidi? Is she here to give her goat friends a little kiss?

I should have known then that I was due a day of dishwasher mishaps and problems with the laundry room key.

That why this entry has a soundtrack. Supply your own laugh track.



Walkin' In a Winter Wonderland The fabulous Christmas lights were on Saturday on the Bahnhofstrasse. It the most schön time of the year. I just wish I had someone special to go walkin' with.

I'm looking for a picture to post. More as the story develops.



Is Bat Boy Next? Are aliens using this blog to communicate with an advance force already here on Earth?

I notice at certain times (especially early afternoon in Zürich) the page returns something in the language of Kang and Codo.
Which I won't reproduce, 'cause I don't want to aid and abet any Lizard Babies. But it's really funky lookin' man.

I still trying to get to the bottom of it. I hope I do - before it's too late.
posted by Steve at 11/25/2002 01:34:00 PM

Workin' on It Testing other things I noticed if you're using Netscape and a dialup modem it takes something like 10 minutes to get your serving of web logged goodness. Perhaps that's the only thing keeping me off "10 Blogs We've Noticed". So I'm cooking up a faster serving portion. Look for the redesign soon...
posted by Steve at 11/23/2002 10:47:00 AM

Rösti Roundup Today I introduce a new semi-regular feature from the kitchen. Rösti Roundup. It may not be your meat for the day, but I've fried up the grated bits of left-over starch from the web just for you - to compliment your regular serving of Züri G'Schnatzlets.

I started reading a new book: Autobiography of Red (by Anne Carson). It got off to a good start with this opener:

He came after Homer and before Gertrude Stein, a difficult time for a poet.

Sounds like it'll be a good one.

Yesterday afternoon, I was giggling with my British colleague Mainframe Mark. We were trying to figure out a good way to listen to tunes at work. I told him that I was waiting for them to plant the Laurie Partridge micro-chip in my head so I could just tune in MP3's fresh from the web straight to my auditory nerves. He said,

But, don't you just know that something would mess up and you'd end up tuning something like Dolly Parton every hour on the hour. That would just be all wrong.

My response? Of course I said:

It's all wrong. But it's alright.

Then, I was reading a fun little diary in Slate Magazine from multifaith inspirational site www.Beliefnet.com CEO Steven Waldman. He talks about consumer testing various spiritually oriented board games:

I spent most of my time playing the Exodus game, which was actually quite good. I learned some interesting things, like the fact that Moses wasn't actually mentioned in the Haggada. But I made a strategic blunder by not using my all-powerful Horseradish Card when I had the chance.

Does that quote do anything for you? The funny part? Suddenly my repressed memories all came bubbling up to the surface. Could it be that we had the same Horseradish Card problem in my household when I was a mere boy? Or perhaps it was something to do with Philistine Points? Can any other Bible Board Game players from the Holyer Household help me out - or should I just save my upcoming bonus paycheck for a frolicking round of therapy?

From the same article:

... blogs work best when the writer has an attitude ...

Now I'm all whining and stuff. Do you think I have an attitude? Do you think I have the right attitude? 'Cause I want to do everything I can to make this the best blog for you.

Speaking of best blogs ... I join Dave White in wondering how come I never show up on the blogger home page under the heading "10 Blogs We've Noticed Recently". I've tried registering with all the search engines to lure more readers. I've put in my META tags. If you google on any of these key words

Zurich, Zuerich, Switzerland, ex-pat, ex-patriot, living abroad, abroad, steve holyer, humor, funny, blog, weblog, rant, rave, holyer, Picayune, Downtown Switzerland, Swiss, rosti, roesti, geschnetzletes, geshnetzeltes, geshnetzlets, bericht

then you should be directed here to enjoy the tasty goodness.

But alas, so far it's to no avail. If you search on Altavista though you do get this disturbing response:

Bid on "steve holyer" at eBay!

Ah well. Schönes Wochenende. And remember:

It's not a song 'til it touches your heart. It's not a song 'til it tears you apart. After what's left of what's right and what's wrong, 'til it gets through to you - it's not a song.

posted by Steve at 11/23/2002 10:30:00 AM

Ever Since the Day You Put My Heart In Motion Have I mentioned you should run out and buy Screening Party by Dennis Hensley? I sent the author some fan e-mail, and I told him that the book is almost better than an Amy Grant video.

He wrote back: "First of all, nothing is better than an Amy Grant video and the sooner we accept that the better."

True.
posted by Steve at 11/21/2002 07:55:00 AM

Linked from information.bluewin.ch

Stormy Weather Bad storms in eastern Switzerland have forced many evacuations.

posted by Steve at 11/21/2002 12:57:00 AM

More Quotable Quotes

"When people say the airline is too big for the country, I say the country is too small for the airline."
                                    --- Peter Bouw, Swiss (Airline) Chairman

posted by Steve at 11/20/2002 11:21:00 AM

America. One big Six Flags? I was lauging my head off again when I read this quote out of the Dallas Observer (everyone in Dallas knows the free Observer never overstates a case):

"We've accidentally allowed a retarded monkey to rule America, but otherwise it's not such a whimsical place."

And that's from a film review of the new Harry Potter!

Don't you think Retarded Monkey would make a good name for a band. Or a blog.
posted by Steve at 11/20/2002 10:24:00 AM

Tales of the Little Big City, or
Misadventures in the +41 (0)1 My buddy Thomas threw himself a fun little birthday gathering last Saturday night. Sometime in the course of mingling, I realized that one of the buff blond boys was local celebrity author Haymo Empl who's literary career got a lucky break when some kook started mailing anthrax to newsmen in America. See last fall Haymo released his first book, which is a dishy queer romp/murder mystery through the somewhat fictionalized lives of Z�ri A-Gays largely inspired by his real life experience al� Amistead Maupin or Dennis Hensley. Coincidentally, the book's called Milzbrand which is German for Anthrax. And, it's about a local closeted gay TV personality and an outbreak of anthrax, spread by a mass murderer, in Z�rich.

I was proudly wearing my rather cute red T-shirt with a big #2 on the the back; which I thought was special since it is reminicent in font and coloring to the tram line that runs by my house. Haymo called me over and asked in German if I had a number two on my back, and then he explained that in Z�rich idiom saying, "he has a big #2 on his back" is the same as making that L sign with thumb and forefinger on your forehead. In other words it means, "LO-SER". See, I thought I was being all clever and ironic by symbolising that if I passed out from the sheer fun of the birthday party someone would know which tram to throw me on to make sure I got home. He thought I was being all clever and ironic by proclaiming myself a big loser.

Well, as the night wore on we conversed at the entrance to the kitchen in a mix of our respective first and second languages, which of course was a little confusing since his first is my second and vice versa. Haymo was wearing the international queer Saturday night uniform of white tank top with an unbuttoned collared shirt; and, at one point I noticed that he had lowered the shirt down around his forearms to expose his buff and sculpted shoulders - like a young and exceptionally fit Liz Taylor. Wait a minute. Was I being star cruised? Or were we re-enacting clever and ironic gay charicatures? Gee, I'm not sure. Of course, dear reader, I didn't pursue the matter. I hear, to know Haymo is to show up in his ongoing saga the queer adventure in Z�rich. Rather I turned the well laid out buffet tables on him and ran straight home to put Haymo into MY ongoing saga of queer adventure in Z�rich.

For today's show and tell check out the opening flash reel at www.haymo-empl.ch for the view I had from the kitchen. Then brush up on your German and watch for me in his next book - I hope it's not called "Loser".
posted by Steve at 11/20/2002 10:12:00 AM

Bowling for Columbine Went to see the new documentary Bowling for Columbine. I wish the filmmaker had added a little context for foreign viewers. Kooks give good footage. Selective editting makes us all look like kooks. No problem with that. 'Course you have to be a bit of a hick yourself if you live in Europe and think that all American's belong to "sure as shootin'" militia's.

I came back from intermission with my second coke and a dilly bar and laughed my head off at the cartoon that leads off from the break. Hold on to your head and check out the whole cartoon, "A Brief History of America", online here (warning:it's a slow download).
posted by Steve at 11/20/2002 10:12:00 AM

Refreshing Honesty on the Job In the more fun with language department my German project manager sent this freudian slip by email today.

To: James Stephen Holyer/atraxis/APD@APD
cc:
Subject: XXXXX XXXX/atraxis/APD is out of the office.

I will be out of the office from 14.11.2002 until 16.11.2002.

I'll be absent for one holiday. In urgent cases you can ream me under 01-555 11 50 during the evening.
I will respond to your mail message when I return.
posted by Steve at 11/15/2002 10:38:00 AM

Leapin' Lizzards, Annie! Ueber-capitalist Daddy Warbucks just teamed up with human rights violating South American governments (and shape shifting Myan spirits) to fight terrorism and defend America's shores against unthinkable havoc wreaked by those who hate her.

Well, when you're stuck with a day that's grey and lonely ...

Annie by Jay Maeder and Andrew Pepoy
October 9, 2002

October 11, 2002

October 22, 2002

October 23, 2002

November 14, 2002

November 15, 2002

linked from The uComics Web Site
the self proclaimed "Best Comic Site In The Universe!"
posted by Steve at 11/15/2002 09:05:00 AM

		More Fun Than Paper Mache ... but no candy. Darn how did I miss this celebration that took place yesterday. Here's the local Swiss version of the pinata (at least in this one little town). Read the story at http://www.swissinfo.org.
Each "executioner" is given only one try to decapitate the dead goose. (linked from http://www.swissinfo.org)

posted by Steve at 11/13/2002 02:22:00 PM

Surreal Moments in My Life It's an especially typical foggy late fall/early winter day in Zurich. Can't see much out of my office window except a soupy white. I was just thinking that I feel like Nicole Kidman in The Others. That's when I realized that last night someone, or something, stole the curtains.

Yesterday, Elmer Fudd walked past my fourth story office window huntin' wascally wabbits.

Of course, the ledge outside my window is about 20 yards wide and it's even a planter for grass (or weeds). Turns out Elmer was the gardner, mowing the roof. But he DID look just like Elmer Fudd - complete with flannel shirt and Elmer hat - and he was carrying something that looked like a rabbit gun leaning against his shoulder.
posted by Steve at 11/12/2002 10:40:00 AM

Guess What I had for Lunch Today? Do you know what they were serving in the cafeteria of the Balsberg Office Building? Yep ... the tasty goodness of Züri G'schnatzlets.


The Question You Never Actually Asked Züri G'schnatzlets is the happy nick name for Zürich's signature culinary dish more formally known as Kalbfleisch Geschnetzeltes Zürcher Art. "Kalbfleisch Geschnetzeltes" means thinly sliced bits of veal, and Zurcher Art means prepared Zurich style in a creamy (and I do mean creamy) onion/mushroom gravy sauce. Whereas Wien (which you call Vienna) has the Wiener Schnitzel (Kalbfleish Schnitzel Wiener Art), we have the Züri G'Schnätzlets. (And now you know how my blog of thinly sliced web logged goodness got it's name.)

Züri G'schnatzlets are traditionally served with Rösti - which is like hash-browned potatoes fried up in a pan. You've gotta love the Swiss cooking served with a huge pat of butter melting in the gravy, even if your arteries don't.

Dallas-based readers in the mood for a little Veal Vergnügen can sample the actual Züri G'schatzlets at the scrumptious Hoffstetter's Spargel Cafe on Lover's Lane where it appears on the menu as Zurich Style Veal. (But it served rather inauthentically with Spaetzle on the side however.)


Veal Vergnügen As a matter fact I do make the best Züri G'schnatzlets in town (except for maybe the Zeughaus Keller which also makes a fine plate). Here's my secret recipe.

Steve Holyer's Züri G'schnatzlets
Serves Four (or more)

600 gr : 1 1/4 lbs Thin Sliced Veal (Chicken or Pork)
1 Large Onion - finely chopped
A Great Big Handfull of Champignon Mushrooms (sliced or chopped)
1/2 - 1 dl : 1/4 - 1/2 cup Wine
1 - 2 dl : 1/2 - 1 cup Water
1 dl : 1/2 Cup Full Creme
A big ole Hunk of Butter
Knorr Brown Gravy Cubes or Lipton's Beef Soup Mix
Salt and Pepper - to taste.

(All the measurements are approximate. The best Züri G'schnatzlets are improvised. Choose your own color and flavor of wine. I make mine with white or red wine depending on my tastes and what I have on hand. At the moment I prefer red wine in the mix, but originally I made it with white. If you use more wine, use less water. You want the sauce to have a thick milky consistency. Not too runny ... and also not too thick.)

Melt some butter in a pan.
Brown the mushrooms and onions in the pan.
In another pan melt some more butter and sear the meat to lock in the tender juices.
Bring the contents of the two pans together, and throw in the wine and water (so maybe a cloud of steam comes up --- HSSsssssss - though that's never actually happened in my kitchen).
Reduce the heat to a low simmer.
Stir in the creme.
Now, if you have it, add your gravy flavoring. Here in Switzerland I use Knorr Brown Gravy Mix. It turns out these "flavor krystals" are the little something extra that makes it all taste good. In America I am guessing you could add half a packet of Lipton's Instant Beef Soup Mix to approximate the flavor.
Add Salt and Pepper to taste. In this recipe a LOT of Pepper tastes good.
Let it all simmer around for 45 minutes or more, until the flavors have mixed together and the meat is cooked, but still tender (with the veal you have to watch you don't overcook it).

Serve on a plate with half a crescent of rösti on the side. And, another big dollop of butter melting in the middle. Garnish with a sprig of parsely.

And the Rösti?

Serves Four
1 kg : 2 - 2 1/2 lbs Potatoes
100 gr : 1 Stick Butter
Salt and Pepper

Boil the potatoes.
Let the potatoes cool (perferably for one or two days).
Peel the potatoes. Discard the skins.
Grate the potatoes using a cheese grater (or a röstiraffel should you have easy access to one).
Salt and pepper to taste.
Melt the stick of butter in a large frying pan.
Brown the grated potatoes in the hot butter for 15 to 20 minutes.
Press the potatoes down into a large "hashbrown" cake.
Brown the potato cake on one side for another 15-20 minutes.
Cover the pan with a large plate, another frying pan, or the lid of the pan.
Turn the pan over to dump your rösti "cake" out onto the plate (pan, lid, ...)
Slide the rösti "cake" back into the frying pan (uncooked side down, of course).
Brown the remaining side another 5 - 10 minutes.

Optional
Spice it up by adding strong grated cheese to the grated potatoes (Alpenzeller if you can find it).
Add fresh bits of bacon (this is that's the way the Bears from Bern eat it).

En Güete 'Säme / Bon Appetit!
posted by Steve at 11/08/2002 06:01:00 PM

And the People, Places or Things that Didn't ... Republican politicians and control freaks
posted by Steve at 11/06/2002 03:44:00 PM

People, Places or Things that Made Me Smile Today ... Benny, Debra, Kristin Reimer (who I don't know yet), Michelle Armster (my Diva before Viva who facilitated my smile from Kristin), Sabrynaah Pope, Roland, Dominic, Dave White, Dave White's unfamous husband Alonso, Lucy, Bahnoff Stadelhoffen, The Zurich Opera House ...

... and the Spanish looking woman dancing the flamenco while she waited for the elevator in the Balsberg Office Building.
posted by Steve at 11/06/2002 03:43:00 PM

You Wanna See What? To all the readers who wrote suggesting that I should have included a picture of my hiney instead of a picture of the Number 4 tram to illustrate yesterday's point - NASTY! (And, that's why I like you.) But, what kind of website do you think this is?

Actually, the recent obsession with hiney's, bums, po's, posteriors, hinters, asses, buttoms, butts, and tushes is building up to something. Keep reading. I'll get there. Maybe.
posted by Steve at 11/05/2002 08:38:00 PM

99 Bottles of Beer on the Toilet When I went to the toilet this morning at work, I found a full six pack of cheap Swiss beer sitting there. I checked around to see if I could spot any hidden television cameras from one of the many germanic imitations of Candid Camera. Didn't see a camera, and of course those German hidden camera shows always include sex in parked cars or fake nuns (or unfortunately, both). So, with no nuns or 'don't come knockin' vans a rockin'' in sight, I don't know where that six pack came from. Maybe it was supposed to be a symbol of the culture clash between the American firm EDS which strictly verbots on the job drinking, and the Swiss exAtraxis culture which strongly promoted on the job drinking. What'd I do? Took one down, passed it around ...

98 Bottles of Beer on the Toilet When I went to the toilet this morning at work, I found a full six pack of cheap Swiss beer sitting there. I checked around to see if I could spot any hidden television camera's from one of the many germanic imitations of Candid Camera. Didn't see a camera, and of course those German hidden camera shows always include sex in parked cars or fake nuns (or unfortunately, both). So, with no nuns or 'don't come knockin' vans a rockin'' in sight, I don't know where that six pack came from. Maybe it was supposed to be a symbol of the culture clash between the American firm EDS which strictly verbots on the job drinking, and the Swiss exAtraxis culture which strongly promoted on the job drinking. What'd I do? Took one down, passed it around ...

97 Bottles of Beer on the Toilet When I went to the toilet this morning at work ...

My cut and paste could go on all night. But I made my point.
posted by Steve at 11/05/2002 08:34:00 PM

Celebrity Sighting I didn't intend for this to be an (almost) all Girl Band day. But just now, when I was coming home from the city pool and my own do-it-yourself water aerobics class (best class this side of Nancy Klein-Freid) one of the chicks from the Swiss franchise of Popstars passed by. You know Popstars is that show where they audition a gaggle of teeny girls and try to train them to be be pop entertainers. Believe it or not, every country has its own popstars. The Swiss band is called Tears, or No Tears, or Tears for Fears (wait no that's something else), or something. Anyway the important part is I saw a real honest to goodness popstar! What did I do? I shouted "SPICE GIRLS FOREVER!"

(Ok, not really. Like a good Swiss, I just discretely checked her out while she walked by.)
posted by Steve at 11/04/2002 08:22:00 PM

Now, That's What I Call High Concept If it weren't real, it would make a great opening scene for Spice World, II in which nefarious baddies spray the Spice Girls, long gone their seperate ways, with knock out gas one by one. Scary, Ginger, Posh, Sporty and Baby come to on a retro-groovy Prisoner-like island. Then, they must put aside their differences in order to work together - not only to escape, but to save the world from certain destruction and second rate imitators like No Angels. Well, I'll tell you what I want - what I really, really, really want - is to see a Spice World sequel like that.
posted by Steve at 11/04/2002 09:08:00 AM

They Thought They Were a Match For Girl Power? Did You See This One? Scotland Yard said police arrested a gang of Eastern European kidnappers (four men and one woman) who were allegedly conspiring to kidnap Posh Spice. Apparently, they were going to run up onto the front yard of "Beckingham Palace" and spray the Posh one with knockout gas and abscond with her and her son. Read all about it here, from the New York Times - so you know it's true.

Oh, and it's not the first time someone's tried to kidnap Posh. She's the next Tammy Wynette. I can tell.
posted by Steve at 11/04/2002 09:04:00 AM

Went to Bern - which is old Swiss German for Bear - yesterday to see some bears. Good fun.
posted by Steve at 11/04/2002 08:48:00 AM

Du Kannst Noch Etwa Mehr Deutch Sprechen If you look on the front and back windows of the trams in Zurich, you'll find the helpful warning engraved: Nicht Hinauslehnen Which means, "don't lean your hiney out the window", I think. Which is something you might want to keep in mind, whether you're riding the tram in Zurich - or not!

posted by Steve at 11/04/2002 08:31:00 AM

I've attempted to leave this blog in the state it was in early 2006 as a historical artifact, but Google broke my original Archive page. What you see above is a quick reconstruction to rebuild some archive functionality without altering the original blog layout (or researching too deeply into Blogspot).

Original Contents Copyright 2002 - J. Stephen Holyer. All Rights Reserved.