Eye, Eye Tammy Faye, or The Züri G'schnätzlets is Back Does everyone remember that documentary film about the televangelist with eyelashes and a heart of gold called The Eyes of Tammy Faye? Remember that part where she told the story about an ancient culture's punishment for murder. She said that when you murdered someone in that culture they strapped the victims decomposing body to you and made you walk around for years with a decomposing dead body on your back. She related it is the same when you carry a grudge against someone. While I'm not sure Tammy Faye's anectdote is true, her application, as always, is. When you carry a grudge around against someone the stank is on you; especially when you're carrying a grudge against an entire culture. Tammy Faye is a wise woman; and I've decided to let go, and let God.

Click here to hear Tammy Faye sing Don't Give Up On the Brink of a Miracle.

But ... I think God, and probably Tammy Faye, would want me to continue my mission to bring some levity into my neighbor, Herr Arnett's, orderly life. Email me at zurcherart@hotmail.com for Patti's phone number so you can share your squeaky-bumpy noises with him. Won't it be great when people from all over the world squeak and bump at all hours just for him?

posted by Steve at 5/25/2003 10:04:00 PM

Looking Out Through My Magic Mirror I need to say that I am very sorry to one of my readers. I am very very sorry to you. You were very right. And I was very wrong. nothing. But I do see some real head cases out there.
posted by Steve at 5/24/2003 06:59:00 PM

But, is His Kuhlschrank Running? So a quick Internet search on P. Arnett and the address next to mine turned up the private phone number for one Patrick Arnett - uptight letter writer. It also seems that he was a contestant on Big Brother, Switzerland two years ago. He was kicked out of the Big Brother house for being more of an uptight pain in the po than a 31 yo has a right to be. Unfortunately, there's no live TV audience (or panel of judges) in this house, so I was left to my own devices on how to vote Mr. Arnett off my island.

After mulling it around over Vodka Martini's, I decided that Patrick needed a little levity in his life. So naturally, I waited until midnight that night before I put the Etifish up to blocking the Eti-ID from his handy and phoning the celebrity of frustrated hormones (even though no one I know has been making any such squeeky-bumpy noise on the second or third floor of his block of apartments). This is what the Etifish said to the voicemail machine, in just that special Swiss German way:

Howdy, -Patti-. We enjoyed reading your little letter. It was sexy-cool! I just wanted to let you know that we were about to start our activities tonight. And next week we've had to schedule our activities a little bit later. So you can expect to hear us sometime after 2:00 AM. Take care now! Viel Vergn�gen* while you listen!

(Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. (Da Da Da) Yes, Fahrvergnügen really IS a German word that actually does mean the shear abundant pleasure of driving a VW or some other finely German engineered automobile. *Viel Vergnügen means I hope you have a REALLY REALLY (abundantly pleasurablel) good time. Um.)
posted by Steve at 5/22/2003 09:05:00 PM

What Was That That was DJ Bobo (with Irene Cara, bless her heart). He's a national Swiss treasure. Really.
And I like him. Alot. Really!

(I'm not one to advocate on-line piracy. But you might find the whole song --with higher quality encoding, they have the bandwidth, I don't-- here.)

Oh, I Forgot To Tell You DJ Bobo does flashdance in the video for this song ... in a mirror covered leisure suit. I mean it when I say, "How cool is that?!?"
posted by Steve at 5/19/2003 08:58:00 PM

My Second Favorite Comicbook Photoshop


My long time friend, L.A.'s man about town Alonso Duralde (who rarely gets to see his real name in a blog) sent me this strange link to a photoshop contest. See, all these clever folk with computers competed to show what the movie posters might look like if every movie were a comic book movie. I wouldn't mention it, but the poster for Flashdance really tickled me!

posted by Steve at 5/19/2003 08:36:00 PM

Alles in Ordnung. Ordnung in Alles.

Saturday, I saw a notice posted on the front entry door to the 15 apartment units next to mine. Since I'm always wondering what these folks are up to, so I can report back to you, I checked it out. Well. As I thought, dear readers, it was something you might be interested in. Here's a translation for your entertainment:   A Small Request (however, one with a big effect) For a few weeks every evening sometime after 11.00 PM, I have been hearing very loud squeaking and bumping noises - as if from the bed springs - (quitschen und rumpeln) coming from either the 2nd or 3rd floor apartment on the right. I would like to say to the offending party ( --and the rest of the neighborhood --ed.), that surely it must be possible to schedule and complete all of your activities that make such noises prior to 10 PM each night. The rest of us need our sleep. And futhermore, surely one can expect total and absolute silence in the building after 11:00 PM. --- REALLY NOW!! (EBEN) --- With Best Regards, P. Arnet   I can't make this stuff up! More ... as the story develops.

posted by Steve at 5/19/2003 07:35:00 PM

Ooooo Baby! And speaking of my favorite Uptown Girl ... I hear Michelle is performing a one-woman play on Amanda Berry Smith that she wrote herself! I am so proud of my girl - uptown, downtown, or any other town.

Ooooo Baby, 2! Ok, that cowbell and drum machine are so 1985 at the Bourbon Pub/Parade Disco. But, that dirty base line is so right now, euro-trashed, progressive house. It's high time to remix that baby!
posted by Steve at 5/13/2003 09:19:00 PM

na und? Where have I been the last weeks. Keep reading. Maybe I'll tell.
posted by Steve at 5/12/2003 02:54:00 PM

Want more Kristin? Check back in this space on June 27, 2010 for more Kristin stories.
posted by Steve at 5/12/2003 12:32:00 PM

Weird Europe, and other Exciting Stops So. I did not know Kristen until Saturday. But she emailed me a few months ago after she sampled a serving from the Züri G'schnätzlets kitchen and asked if she could pass a few nights at my cozy place in Zürich. She offered to supply references, but seeing as she was given my email address by my favorite Uptown Girl (and that she is a Reimer from Kitchner living and working with Michelle in Lancaster, PA ... you connect the dots) I said "who needs references just menno-your-way on over." We had a blast exploring Zürich and Lugano over the weekend. I even climbed all the stairs to the top of the Grossmünster steeple to see the view of the city below. That was something I haven't done in four years of visiting and living in Zürich (but I did know what it looked like, because I sent Tivo up once with the Tivocam).

What else did we do? We met an Etifish and went to Thomy's Pigale for a special down home experience. We sat at the bar, and sang along to Lawrence Welk style Swiss folk tunes with two drag queens and other assorted characters. We found the frauen fountain at the Lindenhof which commemorates some time in the 1200's when the strong women of Zürich saved the whole kit and caboodle by dressing in armor and marching up the hill - which totally made some invading army run away crying "renn avay, renn avay" 'cause they thought a whole 'nother new army had shown up to kick their hinters. (But even dressed in armor the women can't ride around the burning snow man.) And after we ran around in the beautiful sun of Lugano on Sunday, we visited Swiss Minatuer which feature a tiny model of the entire country complete with a miniature model band of alpenhorn blowers, minature planes trying to take off from a miniature Zürich Airport, a mini-Matterhorn, and a miniature blessing of the Motorcycle fleet in miniature Basel!

We knew we had to go to Swiss Miniatuer and the frauen fountain when we read about it in Kristen's book Weird Europe: A Guide to Bizarre, Macabre, and Just Plain Weird Sights. I recommended Thomy's Pigale from my own experience.
posted by Steve at 5/12/2003 12:31:00 PM

Watsa Matta You? I was awaiting the arrival of Kristen Reimer to the main station last Saturday when I really actually did hear a (very drunk) Italian woman say "ah shut uppa ya face".
posted by Steve at 5/12/2003 11:57:00 AM

I've attempted to leave this blog in the state it was in early 2006 as a historical artifact, but Google broke my original Archive page. What you see above is a quick reconstruction to rebuild some archive functionality without altering the original blog layout (or researching too deeply into Blogspot).

Original Contents Copyright 2002 - J. Stephen Holyer. All Rights Reserved.